I totally agree that there is no magic perfect relationship style. It all depends on the people involved but the ethos of polyamory, whether it is adhered to or not, is of mutual respect, honesty, and self- responsibly for your own emotions and baggage. The ethos of traditional marriage is Co-dependency, jealousy as a signal of real love, and control of each other. That doesn’t mean all marriages look like that but as a relationship paradigm they are a lot more likely to.