I totally respect what you are saying, but want to offer another perspective. The vast majority of autistic adults can't work or if able to, can't find jobs sufficient to support them. In the US only 22% of autistics are employed, and many are underemployed. We can and should try to address that from an accessibility standpoint, but it's never going to be enough.

My autistic son is non-verbal, and will never live alone. He has an uncontrolled seizure disorder and a huge amount of OCD and anxiety. I know a lot of young men (and a few young women) like him. He will never work or marry, and will live with us for the rest of his life.

He suffered from a lot of gastric distress as a child, something that is pretty common for autistics. A primarily gluten free diet has helped him quite a bit. It's true there is no one-size fits all dietary rules but families dealing with tantruming, self-harm, and other difficult behaviors can hardly be blamed for trying to find a way to impact that. Lot's of autistic kids barely sleep, meaning their parents are up half the night as well.

ABA was a godsend for our son and for us. It taught us how to work with him and his needs using positive reinforcement and made everybody's life a whole lot better. There are bad ABA practitioners out there who strap kids to chairs and stuff like that, but those are not the generally accepted practices of most instructors working hard to meet kids where they are and to shape their behaviors to be more functional. My son could have never started kindergarten because he still wasn't potty trained at 5 if not for intensive ABA. He still can't tie his own shoes, but we rely on ones that are slip on or have Velcro.

Aside from the fact that I'd like his life to be easier and more fulfilling - with more options in it - I'd like my life to be easier as well. My son cannot be left alone, so I can't go anywhere or do anything without taking him along or hiring someone to stay with him. I have to help him in the shower, and sometimes in the bathroom. I have to brush his teeth for him. My life is extremely curtailed by that, and although I would do anything for him, it's a hardship that I can't and probably won't ever have a typical adult life - and neither will he.

Autistics with careers and relationships need to understand that they are in the minority in the autistic community and that life is significantly harder for most other families with autistic members. We absolutely need to honor and respect neurodivergence but that alone will not sufficiently impact the lives of the vast majority of autistic people, many of whom live in poverty or other less than ideal conditions, often with health challenges as well as other sorts.

I don't believe that autistic people can be "cured" but continued scientific-based looks at how to impact the most challenging aspects is very much needed, as is better understanding of the roots of autism.

I don't mean to trivialize your experiences but most of the autistic folks I know couldn't even begin to mask. They don't have the capability. Yes, we need to accept people for who they are, and there's certainly nothing "wrong" with autism, but it is extremely hard on millions and millions of people - and their caregivers/families. I think that also needs to be taken into account.