I used to wonder WTF was wrong with boys and men, but once I started learning about it, I started to see them as a victim of patriarchy as well - in different ways - and not to excuse any personal acts of violence or cruelty - but it is true that this social systems harms us all, and boys and men suffer under it.

What is most frustrating to me is that most of them don't want to acknowledge that, and it's a necessary step in getting them to help us improve things. They largely have a hissy fit, like this guy, because they are so bought into these norms equating to being a "real man." How can they be harmful and wrong when they've poured their entire lives into performing them as flawlessly as they can? It often provokes a hysterical lashing out like we saw here.

But, as bell hooks points out, patriarchy robs men of freedom of will (because they must adhere to norms they did not create) and that makes it hard for any man to rebel against patriarchy. But, it is vital that more and more of them do, because they need to lead the way in creating new metrics of masculinity that are kinder and freer — something that is good for us all.