I wholeheartedly support your self-knowledge and self-care that comes from it. Perhaps my perspective is somewhat different due to being polyamorous. I don't need every person I sleep with to love me, because some of the people I sleep with already do. There's always caring, respect, and real human connection going on for me in any sexual situation. I don't like impersonal, mechanical, just to get off sex - in fact, I can't have an orgasm in that situation. But because I am open to different kinds of intimate connections, not all of them have to be on the level of partner for me to be happy and enjoy them. And that's what works for me, but as I 've said, I completely support you doing what works for you.