I wish that were true, but I've been writing about just exactly this for around 5 years and I still get a huge amount of pushback from men who seem to feel that acknowledging that patriarchy is harmful to us all is some sort of admission of failure to cut it in the hierarchy. Plus, a lot of them may feel not all that powerful in this system (because it really is intended to mostly benefit a small number of elites) but at the same time they often also fear that actual equality is taking something away from them. This is the main thing driving anti-feminism in much of Europe, the belief that men lose economically if women have equal opportunity.

And every man that I've ever told that he just needs to learn to really be himself and own all of his authentic qualities because that's what women actually value, has told me that I'm deluded and don't know what I'm talking about. You are absolutely correct that most women are not looking for wealth or status in man because they now have more opportunities to create that for themselves. But at the same time, most men are still not being shown how to develop the emotional/social skills that most women are actually interested in, so they keep clinging to the idea that it must be that they aren't buff enough or rich enough, when it's that they don't have the EQ or any authentic self confidence (because they are comparing themselves to buff, rich men).

I love the idea of men (and everyone) learning to have better empathy, social skills, and integrity that comes from standing for what you believe in and helping those in need. Our culture is too based on the approval of others and getting ahead at their expense and that definitely needs to go. And I also believe that we need to make it "cool" to be kind and generous and to look out for those who are vulnerable or weaker. We need pop culture and business leaders to model this rather than performative domination and assholery.

Thanks for your thoughts and I hope that our culture can move ahead for the benefit of us all.