I write about patriarchy as a social system - from the perspective of a sociologist, not a feminist. I don't even identify as a feminist, although I do hold many of the same beliefs.

I've thought (and talked) a lot about how patriarchy harms men. It's just not my main area of interest because in case you haven't noticed, and apparantly you haven't, I'm interested in how and why the social system works as it does, because understanding that is the only way I see to truly impact it. I often write about anthropology and sociology because I think they give us deeper insight into the world that we live in. If that lands for you as "femsplaining" rather than scientific analysis, then I really just have to laugh.

I already explained why women do what they do in about as much detail as it makes any sense to me to do so. 1) They are indoctrinated from birth into the same gender binaries and expectations and it often takes time to "wake up" and realize those are artificial and non-serving and 2) There is quite frequently a price to pay for bucking the system, often a rather steep price. Misogyny is the policing arm of patriarchy. It's sole job is to make "bad" women who won't comply pay. Some women haven't completely "woken up" yet - it took me until the end of my 40s to truly do so, and some women aren't willing to pay the price for sticking their necks out.

Yes, all of that contributes to the continuation of patriarchy as a social system, but I don't see everything in black and white the way you seem to. It's a part of a larger system that has a lot of components, as well as a lot of nuance - which is why we need to look at it and understand it so that we can all wake up. As I've said to you many times before, blaming women for not being strong enough is a prime patriarchal outlook. You've completely bought into the social Darwinism aspect of it. And as I've also already said to you, I 100% support encouraging women to find ways to empower themselves but that alone isn't going to erase societal dynamics.

My husband used to have a co-worker and friend who was Black. He'd come from a pretty middle-class background, and went to a good law school. He worked hard and upon graduation he was hired by one of the best law firms in the country, where he poured himself into his work, and did very well. He also put on a good bit of weight at this time. Eventually, he took that on as well, and started eating right and going to the gym and he got really buff and healthy. Around this time, he was appointed to be an Assistant Attorney General, a spot that he had definitely earned. But one day, this guy was coming out of a store in his upscale neighborhood, about to get into his expensive car, when two policeman started to hassle him. What they saw was a fit and muscular Black man getting into a nice car and they assumed he was a drug dealer. They told him to leave and never come back to this neighborhood - even though it was where he lived because he'd worked hard and done everything right, and had been completely self responsible in all ways. No amount of further self-responsibility could have impacted that situation where he was faced with systemic racism.

This is what I'm speaking to, because this sort of thing happens all the time. Being self-aware and self-responsible are good and very important, and they can only take you so far. They aren't the solution to societal problems in and of themselves. And, other than ascribing a bunch of stuff to me that isn't really on target, you haven't actually rebutted anything that I've said, so there's that as well. I'm sorry that I don't write what you think that I should, but that's not really my problem. I write what I feel called to express, just like you do. If you can't interface with the particulars of what I say, rather than just painting me with a broad brush, it's not a very high quality discussion.

Edit: Blaming women doesn't make any more sense than blaming men, because we are all indoctrinated into this social system. There are cultural tends, established power dynamics, etc., and I always speak to those as well as the actions of particular individuals. I never demonize men as a gender. If you aren’t able to perceive that, perhaps you ought to read my story, Are You Debating From Your Conscious Mind or Your Subconscious One?