If they can't work out their issues, of course they shouldn't stay together, but my point is, most couples aren't remotely addressing what is at the root of their sex issues which is quite likely to be deeper relationship problems as well as the sexual boredom that many wives experience which kills their libido (making it seem like they aren't interested in sex, when they actually just aren't interested in the sex they are having).

It seems like way too many men, including you, want to blame all of that on the woman when they play a very, very large part in why she is no longer interested in sex with him. If your ex-wife was having an emotional affair, there was something missing in your relationship. That doesn't mean it was all your fault, but not addressing that aspect while simply trying to address the lack of sex directly which was only a symptom, is a huge miss.

I don't know who Trixie is or what you are referring to. Edit: I just read her comment, so now I know who you are speaking of, but what she said is “fire needs air to breath.” She didn’t say that the only way to get that air is to divorce and take up with someone younger.

Tris is married and involved with another older guy who happens to be meeting some of the emotional relationship needs that her husband has a hard time with. She and her husband are also working with a therapist. You've apparently decided that the solution for people is a new, younger partner when this entire essay was filled with nothing but evidence of why that isn't necessarily the case. It could play a part because of A) novelty and B) access to partners with whom she doesn't have the same entrenched relationship issues with - but it's certainly not the only option or solution.

I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but you keep insisting that your ex-wife lost interest in sex with you because she was older, when by your own description of what was going on that seems unlikely to have been the actual problem. She wanted to have sex with the other guy, so clearly feeling older and unattractive wasn't the real issue. It was something going on inside of your relationship that made her no longer interested in sex with you. Again, that doesn't mean it was all your fault, but taking no responsibility for that whatsoever is just telling yourself what you want to hear instead of facing the facts. Of course people shouldn't endure sexless relationships for years on end, but what they should do is actually work on the roots of that lack and take responsibility for their part in that dynamic.

Plenty of older women have robust sex drives - including Tris and including me. Age has nothing to do with it at all. All the things that I named in this essay that Dr. Perel talks about, all the things that the story from The Atlantic talks about, all the things that Tris talks about that killed her libido - that is what's usually going on when a woman who doesn't have a health issue is no longer interested in sex with her husband. I'm sorry, but you "deciding" it's age doesn't change that.