If this were true, why don't women have the same dynamic and the same love/hate relationship with women?

What seems more likely to me is that in a patriarchal dominance hierarchy, women are both a status symbol for men, as well as the only socially acceptable source of touch and emotional comfort - and yet someone they are often socialized to believe is inferior to them and that they have the right to control. This creates the push-pull of insecurity and conflicted emotions. Men are always being pressured to "perform" acceptable masculinity and many men may want the validation of pleasing their partner, but are too insecure to take feedback about better sex, being a better partner, etc. I doubt we'd live in a such a violent rape culture where 85% of women started being sexually harassed in childhood and 1 in 4 experience severe physical domestic abuse if more men were truly concerned about women's wellbeing and happiness. 75% of divorces wouldn't be instigated by women. I know some men really do honestly care about making their partners happy (I'm married to one), but we have a deeply misogynistic society and wanting validation isn't the same thing as wanting to do what's best for women.

I completely agree that men and women can both benefit from working together to have greater closeness and fuller lives - but also think that we can achieve this without yet once again blaming mothers for every little thing.

Edit: In addition, mothers as the nearly exclusive care-giver of young children is a relatively modern, Western dynamic. Up until the early part of the 20th century, all families were made up large extended family groups, and that is the case still in a lot of non-Western cultures.

In most contemporary forager bands (and many village cultures), both men and women spend a lot of time caring for and interacting with not only their children, but all sorts of other kin and as-kin. Read Hrdy’s Mother’s and Others for a deep dive. The notion of one mother and one father living alone with their kids, where the mother does nearly all of the early childcare really only gelled in the 1950s in America and other Western countries.

I’m not discounting the research, only the simplistic way that it seems to have been interpreted that doesn’t take into account the larger historic and non-Western context.