Ignorance is no excuse. This is mainstream sociology and psychology. The fact that you don't know that is irrelevant. Educate yourself and stop being a part of the problem. We live in a violent rape culture that is upheld by men like you who refuse to grapple with it and make it change for the better.
“[Ours] is a culture in which sexualized violence, sexual violence, and violence-by-sex are so common that they should be considered normal. Not normal in the sense of healthy or preferred, but an expression of the sexual norms of the culture, not violations of those norms. Rape is illegal, but the sexual ethic that underlies rape is woven into the fabric of the culture.” — Robert Jensen
~The Macho Paradox by Jackson Katz
Individuals need to be held accountable for their actions, but violent individuals must be understood as products of a much larger cultural system. By offering up a steady stream of images of sexually aggressive men and connecting dominant notions of masculinity with the control of women, the mainstream media and entertainment culture — which includes the enormous pornography industry — play a critical role in constructing violent male sexuality as a cultural norm. And here is the paradox: this very “normality” makes it harder to see just how pervasive the problem is. If heterosexual men are routinely turned on by representations of women in which sexiness is indistinguishable from mistreatment, the equation becomes unremarkable — if not part of sexuality itself.
~The Macho Paradox by Jackson Katz
"My review and analysis draw especially on research and theory that highlight the connections between sexual violence and normative (rather than strictly aberrant or toxic) heterosexuality and masculinity (e.g., Cahill, 2014, 2016; Gavey, 2005; Mardorossian, 2014). This work contends that there is a common ground between normative heterosexuality and sexual violence (what Cahill, 2016 refers to as the “heteronormative sexual continuum”) — not that they are one and the same but that hegemonic heterosexuality functions to obscure clear “distinctions between what is [sexual violence] and what is just sex” (Gavey 2005: 2, emphasis original). In other words, as I and others have demonstrated elsewhere, Western hegemonic heterosexuality is often male-centered and patterned in ways that can support and obscure men’s sexual violence against women."
(Sage Journals)
Rape is an act of asserting domination. It is not a misunderstanding or a change of consent. A Harvard medical school study of forced sexual initiation determined that 1 in 16 women had their first sexual experience against their will. Some 50% of women surveyed said the perpetrator was larger or older. More than 46% of the women were held down. In 56% of the instances, men used verbal pressure. Men used physical threats more than 26% of the time and caused physical harm in more than 25% of the instances. Some 22% of the women were drugged.” CNN Health
Every single woman you know, with rare exception, has been subject to sexual violence since she was a young child. Ask your mother and your grandmother about their stories.
We live in a violent rape culture where mainstream elements of traditional masculinity involve aggression, domination, sexual conquest and control of women. You refusing to acknowledge that and participate in changing it is cowardice of the highest order.
Edit: This is what the American Psychological Association says about male socialization and gender indoctrination:
The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity — marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression — is, on the whole, harmful.
