"I'm a little sceptical of the idea that what feminists would consider more problematic aspects of masculinity is always just a front hiding some soft inner core that all men have."

I'm not sure how else one could construe that statement in the face of this being the opinion of 96% of research on the topic and not just that of feminists. Again, did you even bother to read the link discussing in further depth how and why masculinity is a performance in patriarchal cultures before asserting that it doesn't seem that way to you? It's the ocean you've been swimming in your entire life so I get that it might not seem obvious to you that's what's going on, but as I already pointed out, it's not just feminists who are saying that many aspects of how masculinity is constructed in our cultures is problematic - it's the APA, and 96% percent of research on the topic. Yes, some guys are naturally more on the stereotypical masculine part of the continuum, but all men, with few exceptions, are performing masculinity on a daily basis.

Men try to discredit stuff they don't agree with every single day by claiming it's coming from feminists (who don't know anything by virtue of wanting equality 🙄), so maybe leave that part off the next time if you don't wish to be taken for one of them.