I'm all for a more inclusive society, and don't particularly care if my son ever works or gets married. Over all, he does have a good life, and I'm grateful for that, but it's been 25 years of intensive work, making this the focus of my life and over a million dollars to get us to this place. It didn't just magically turn out that way.

What I do care about is that he's got a co-morbid seizure disorder that is not entirely controlled, that he had years of gut issues, that he has sometimes crippling anxiety and OCD. I care that other autistic people often won't recognize that as a hardship for him - or for us because they are too invested in greater acceptance as some sort of panacea.

As noted before, I love him as he is, and I am grateful that we have the resources to care for him and support him to live his best life. And, most people aren't so fortunate. Most families with someone with "high intensity autism" have even more grueling and terrifying lives than we have had.

Yes, a more inclusive cultural context would help with many things, but it doesn't impact his need to go the ER for stitches when he falls during a seizure -something that might eventually kill him. It doesn't stop another round of explosive diarrhea, or the anxiety and OCD that keep him (and therefore us) awake half the night.

Platitudes don't begin to touch on the ways that nobody would want that for themselves or their child if there was a way to prevent it.