I'm glad to hear that you are in a men's group and that you are looking at the ways that patriarchy harms men too. However, there are tons of men who I hear from all of the time who constantly bitch about how feminism ought to take up men's problems "if they really care about gender equality." You are exactly right that women can't truly know men's lived experience and it's yet another reason why feminism as a movement can support and encourage men's work but cannot do that for men. Demanding that is a distraction to keep them from doing the work that you are doing.