I'm glad to hear that you've got such great friends who really do demonstrate caring for you. I'm sure you aren't the only one, but I also believe that it's not the norm. There wouldn't be such an epidemic of loneliness if it were.
What research unambiguously shows is that, as Wilson-Smith puts it, “most heterosexual men look to their partners to do their social organising for them”. Jed Novick, a 64-year-old lecturer, is a long way from the archetype of the repressed male. He dresses flamboyantly, for example, and is partial to fedora hats. While never comfortable with what he terms lad culture, he spent most of his 20s and 30s socialising with groups of male friends, often in bars.That all changed when he got married at 36. Thereafter, he says, his wife, Gilly, began to arrange dinner parties and gatherings. He was largely content with her taking the social lead, although “a little bit resentful that if I ever suggested someone who wasn’t in that circle, it kind of never happened”.
"Wilson-Smith attributes male social passivity to a lack of emotional engagement and a preoccupation with other aspects of life, like work, money and sport."
