I'm not entirely sure I know what you mean by a "post feminist world" since the need for feminism is nearly as strong as it was 50 years ago. Perhaps it's that the word has been sufficiently demonized that a larger percentage of women don't want it attached to them because men have made it to mean "man hater" and the like, but that's simply a distraction so they don't have to improve anything. Talking about the very significant problems that still exist is not "man bashing" - it's calling out patriarchal culture and the way that it harms women, but also literally everyone else.
Love is one of the most important and most rewarding things in all of the world. As members of a highly social species, it's a natural fit for us. That being said, the culture(s) that we have today can sometimes make that difficult to find.
I don't think that anyone should look for a relationship simply to have one. Rather, they should be open to meeting and connecting with someone that they honestly genuinely like and admire, and not just in a physical/sexual way. If you don't really like and want to have conversations and shared experiences with someone you feel that you love (or maybe are just smitten with), it's not going to last, and might even cause problems because you possibly like the idea of them, and not the actual them. Girls and women can fall into this as well, but they are also more likely than boys and men to factor other things than looks/sex appeal into attraction. Don't get me wrong, those are important to have but you need to actually like each other as human beings too.
How a guy treats others around him, including those who don't have as much social power, is huge. But the single biggest thing that women are attracted to is how you make them feel. Guys have told me it's largely the same for them, but this is so key and most men don't seem to understand it. If you treat her like a person that you really admire and want to get to know more about, that's always way better than puffing up your status, riches, or whatever else guys tell themselves counts - because for most women none of that is nearly as important as really seeing her as a person, and behaving accordingly. Women are so often objectified, their brains and abilities discounted, that any male who asks them to explain something or for their expertise on something is a step ahead of the guys around him.
And, confidence is hugely attractive - to absolutely everyone. Again, this doesn't mean bragging and strutting around. It means honestly knowing and understanding yourself enough to know what you bring to the table. Getting to really like and value yourself in a healthy and well-rounded way is the single biggest thing you can do to find a positive relationship. If you really know and like yourself, you know what your strengths are but also where you have things you need to work on. Admitting that you aren't perfect isn't an issue, because you don't take your sense of self from other people and their approval. That means you are less likely to be defensive, petty, and in constant need of external validation - which puts you in a better place to be kind, warm, trusting, forgiving, vulnerable, and engaged with the inner life of someone else that you want to be in a relationship with.
As already noted, being sensitive to the world that girls and women have to navigate in a way that you don't is also a plus. Learn about that, and be sympathetic in a way that informs how to be more sensitive to the issues that aren't a part of your personal experience. We can all always learn from each other, but learning from social groups that have less institutional and historic social power is a great way to become a better human being in general. It definitely makes you a better partner as a man.
There's a lot that you've said which leads me to believe you do care about living in a civil society, so don't take the condemnations of masculine culture personally - just realize that's not who you are as a man - it's socialization and that if it's being called out, it's hurting you too, and not just women.
And, I also think that for someone as thinking and as interested in learning as you are, the possibilities are limitless. Work at being the best man, and the best human being that you can be, and relationship(s) will naturally follow. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 18, and that's true for lots of people of all genders, around the world. If the right person comes into your life sooner, great, but don't worry if it doesn't. The most important person in your life is you. Be someone that you really like and admire and are proud to be and when the time is right, a woman will see and recognize that too.
Hope that helps, and at least somewhat answers your question.
