I'm not sure that I agree with you that men are not wired for polyamory. Patriarchy is only 6-9 thousand years old, a mere drop in the bucket by human evolutionary standards. It arose at about the same time as the agricultural revolution. More and more the cultural narrative of men wanting/needing to only care for and protect their own genetic interests is being demonstrated to be a byproduct of patriarchal thinking and not actual science.
"When paternity was of little concern and alloparenting (communal breeding) was common, both men and women bolstered their chances of reproductive success through the genetic diversity that multi-mating would have provided. This is what is natural — the same as it is in the rest of the animal kingdom. Wanting monogamy to be natural for humans is an attempt to provide support for a cultural construct. People can certainly choose sexual monogamy, but that’s a very different thing from an inherent inclination."
“Polyandry was normal in pre-contact Polynesia, particularly for high caste women and still takes place in the Indian Himalayas and in parts of Tibet. In Lowland South America, and in Africa partible paternity, where two or more men mate with a woman for the purposes of producing a child, is common in many cultures. Spreading fatherly feelings throughout the group helps to maintain solidarity and cohesion as well as promotes the wellbeing of a greater number of children. Reproductive fitness (the chance that offspring will, in turn, produce their own offspring) is enhanced by cooperative alloparenting of this kind where several adults take an active interest in the lives of children.
“Despite the belief that monogamous male-female bonding is how mothers and children were supported and thrived, the anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy and others believe it was actually female cooperative breeding, or alloparenting — ‘sharing and caring derived from the pooled energy’ of a network of ‘grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, distantly related kin, and non-kin’ — that shaped our evolution.” (2)”
