In America, women are supposed to be sexy, but not sexual. Their sexuality exists to be consumed by men, and her partner, in particular. It's for him, not for her. I didn't really understand just how true this was until we started going to swinger's clubs, where that dynamic was very much not in place and where women's bodies and sexuality existed for THEM - to be shared with others or not, depending on what she wanted, not what other people wanted.