In many cases they really are. It sounds like your Urchling is for sure, but in reading Peggy Orenstein's Girls and Sex (and also Boys and Sex) she notes that young women who are strong and confident in every area of their lives still are subject to some regressive norms when it comes to sex. We've still got a long way to go...

"Despite those risks (of self-objectification), hypersexualization is ubiquitous, so visible as to be nearly invisible: it is the water in which girls swim, the air they breathe. Whatever else they might be—athletes, artists, scientists, musicians, newscasters, politicians—they learn that they must, as a female, first and foremost project sex appeal. Consider a report released by Princeton University in 2011 exploring the drop over the previous decade in public leadership positions held by female students. Among the reasons these über-elite young women gave for avoiding such roles was that being qualified was not enough. They needed to be “smart, driven, involved in many different activities (as are men), and, in addition, they are supposed to be pretty, sexy, thin, nice, and friendly.” Or, as one alumna put it, women had to “do everything, do it well, and look ‘hot’ while doing it.”

Orenstein, Peggy. Girls & Sex (p. 13). Harper Paperbacks. Kindle Edition.