In the US women couldn't have a credit card or a business in their own name a mere 50 years ago. They could be fired for getting pregnant and marital rape wasn't a crime until 1993 (and in some states there are still significant loopholes). There were literally hundreds of rights that men had by law that women did not up until the 1970s.

Yes, patriarchy is a dominance-based hierarchy that disadvantages the little guy at the expense of the elites, and there are all sorts of ways that men have and continue to suffer under this social system as well, but it is demonstrably factually incorrect that there is remotely any sort of parity between what men and women have endured. Honestly, this stuff is just a joke!! The white feather campaign was cooked up by a general who then convinced women to do his dirty work for him to shame men into military service (in service of the needs of the elites).

Both the Catholic and the Protestant church encouraged men to beat their wives as a way to keep them in line and demonstrate that the man was “the master.” This wasn’t illegal in the US until 1927 but it wasn’t enforced AT ALL until the 1970s. Right now — today — three women are murdered by current or former domestic partners every single day because part of masculine socialization is the idea that men can and should control women.

Men absolutely benefit from patriarchy - otherwise so many of them wouldn't be fighting so hard to maintain it - but that doesn't mean they haven't also been disadvantaged and harmed by it as well. More than one thing can be true at a time. Try hating yourself less, and you'll be better able to grapple with nuances such as this.