In this instance, I was in the South, but I do think there is that same strong impulse to appear to be "nice." Come to think of it, most of these people were upper class white people who no doubt thought of themselves as the pillars of the community. Yet how truly nice is it to refuse to engage in even the most harmless disagreement with someone and to then do an end run around them instead? There were other people I encounted while living in that area for 17 years who also did this to some extent, but the more religious they were, the more likely it seemed to be to happen.

Granted, this was not a scientifically done study, and was simply anecdotal based on my personal experiences and that of my husband (who found it to be the same as well).