Incels have defined this term by their hateful rhetoric and their violence against women - both in fantasy and in actual practice. Over 100 people, mostly women, have been murdered by incels in the past 10 years alone.

The Canadian government and the state of Texas didn't just up and decide this was a terrorist movement, they did that based on the facts. That doesn't mean all men who identify as incels believe in violence, but it is the pervasive dynamic.

Tim Squirrell, a researcher studying social interaction in online communities, told me: The first thing you notice when you look at an incel forum is a mix of hopelessness and anger. These people genuinely hate and pity themselves, but, simultaneously (and almost paradoxically), they feel this righteous anger and vindication that they see the world for how it really is, even if they’re at the bottom of the heap. That feeling of absolute certainty that they are correct is twinned with the fact that they’re correct about their own misery, and that’s a powerful and strange cocktail.

Visit any incel website and you are quickly indoctrinated into this worldview, pressed to accept that vapid, self-obsessed, greedy, promiscuous women are the enemy.

Bates, Laura. Men Who Hate Women (p. 27). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.

If you want to call yourself an incel, that's on you, but violent hatred and dehumanization of women is overwhelmingly what this movement stands for today. If that's not you, I suggest you pick a different term.