Interesting that should ask that since I was just thinking about that yesterday. My interest in this topic arose out of the question, "Why are so many men so fucking awful - weak, but also performatively harmful to others without any empathy or sense of community? Is there something about testosterone or what - or maybe they are just inherently lesser beings? But then how do I reconcile that with the good aspects of the men that I know?" So, I started to look into it and what I discovered is that what I see in our culture and what I've experienced at the hands of men my entire life is not universal, and is in fact confined to certain cultures and certain periods of time where a particular type of social system exists. The more I learned about it, the more that it explains absolutely everything about why so many men do the shitty things that they so often do - not because of testosterone, not because they are terrible human beings, but because they were raised in a dominance-based hierarchy where that is expected and also punished if you don't participate and this mostly takes place on a very subtle and insidious level. Once you see how this influences every aspect of our culture, not just for men, you can't unsee it. However, it's expected of men to a much higher degree (in fact it's a central element of masculinity in this culture) and men also hold vastly more institutional power in all areas of society. Speaking about those facts is not misandry. In fact, refusing to grapple with the evidence of this is a deflection to avoid having to face it.
Of course, human impulses for selfish behavior exist in all cultures, but in saying that you are actually making my point for me. In egalitarian cultures, there are mechanisms in place that affirmatively and intentionally keep that in check via social norms - something I've already pointed out to you and supported with quotes from experts. In a dominance hierarchy, those types of selfish and harmful impulses are actually socially rewarded and in many cases seen as leadership. CEOs have a much higher incidence of sociopathic tendencies than the general population. So much about our society's stories (movies, and other popular culture) celebrate and normalize violence and domination - as a way to solve problems but also to get what you want — particularly for men. This is the plot of every action movie ever made. It's the subject of nearly every rap song. By contrast, partnership-oriented structures emphasize "beliefs and stories that recognize our human capacities for negative behaviors but emphasize empathic, mutually beneficial, nonviolent relations and present them as normal, moral, and desirable." We see this in partnership-oriented cultures both in the present, but also from the past. I don't know if you are familiar with the Disney movie Moana, but it is a key departure from the typical kick-ass and take names way to show strength — something we need to see depicted more often.
"I am moved every time I watch Moana calmly walk towards the snarling Te Kā, trusting in the power of giving, and of connection. One young girl standing firm against a giant demon of fire, with only the faith in her power to bring healing to defend her. She achieves something that Maui and all his might could not.
Sometimes a sword and a strong hand to wield it is what is called for, but not every time. Might does not always make right and sometimes what has the most impact is the power of relationship and healing."
You are certainly welcome to do your own research and to talk to other social scientists, but I'm going to link you a couple of stories that I've written to perhaps save you a bit of time.
And to be very honest, if I’ve made what you feel are assumptions about you they come out of things that you’ve said — where you’ve demonstrated a very naive and erroneous understanding of both history and current social dynamics, compounded by an admitted chip on your shoulder about feminism. In fact, I’ve experienced very little empathy from you. Instead, pretty much every time I’ve brought to your attention some horrendous level of discrimination or abuse, you either ignore it or deflect it in some way. Where is the theology in that? What is the philosophy of turning a blind eye to that level of injustice? How do you leave your daughter to that world?
I’m not trying to be confrontational here, but I am dead serious about my questions because they are honest and come from the heart.
