Isn't it counter-productive to progress and real discussions about the issues in our culture if that narrative is indulged? Doesn't it keep guys from grappling with the things they need to if they can just deflect by claiming that women are being hateful? I get that there's a fine line to walk in order to have men feel willing to engage but it sure feels like victim-blaming to me to hear that verifiably problematic aspects of patriarchal masculine norms can't be discussed because it's "man-bashing" to do so. Way, way too many guys are overly identified with their socialization as if this were who they actually are as males - when nothing could be further from the truth.

Our work of love should be to reclaim masculinity and not allow it to be held hostage to patriarchal domination. There is a creative, life-sustaining, life-enhancing place for the masculine in a nondominator culture. And those of us committed to ending patriarchy can touch the hearts of real men where they live, not by demanding that they give up manhood or maleness, but by asking that they allow its meaning to be transformed, that they become disloyal to patriarchal masculinity in order to find a place for the masculine that does not make it synonymous with domination or the will to do violence.

Hooks, Bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love (p. 115). Atria Books. Kindle Edition.