It is completely possible to be fully in touch with your emotions, and feeling them deeply and still be in control of your behavior. The fact that this seems like a foreign concept to you seems to reinforce my point about gender socialization. You can't conceive of experiencing an emotion without being at its mercy, but people who have skill in regulating their emotions are quite capable of doing this. Men are just told to stuff theirs and so the only two options are repressed robot acting out of disavowed feelings and thinking they are being logical or someone who is "acting out" their emotions, usually in a destructive way. Learning how to how your emotions without them having you is a skill that more people need to learn, particularly more men.