It really is one of those things that once you truly see it, you realize it's everywhere and infuses almost everything. I wish more men would grasp that this is not because I think men are bad humans or anything remotely like that, but because they've been indoctrinated into a particular type of social system (as have we all) in which masculinity is equated with domination, violence, and control of women. And, it doesn't have to be that way. It's not "just the way men are." In fact, it's a really brand new thing, and although I don't think we can easily or quickly shift all of those norms, in part because they dovetail so nicely with the predatory, ruthless elements of late stage capitalism, I do think there are things we can improve - if we notice how and why they are a problem and all work together to do better.

The violence in our culture is primarily perpetrated by men, as is the sexual violence - against both women and other men. These really are issues of how masculinity is constructed within a dominance hierarchy system. I've come to the conclusion that nothing will improve until more men understand this and work together to take this on. And yet, so many of them desperately cling to patriarchy and don't want to hear about how it's harming them, as well as everyone else. It's really frustrating to this kind of Stockholm syndrome taking place.