It takes time to shift relationship styles. After looking at the world through one type of lens around love and relationships (and sex) for many decades, you have to cut yourself some slack while you grapple with perhaps shifting to a different sort of lens. All these things take both time, and some compassion for both self and your partners. We're used to exclusivity and that caring for someone else means betrayal or less for someone. And it doesn't have to be, but decades of conditioning to the contrary don't just evaporate in a few weeks or months. Taking some time to really explore what you do actually want sounds like a good idea though. Also, there are all sorts of types of love. The sort that you have for/with your husband probably isn't the sort that you'll have with someone else. You can still be mad about them, but because they are a different person and a different relationship, whatever love you might have is going to be it's own sort of love - and that's another thing about the relationship escalator that we're never told. It's not just that every relationship doesn't have to be co-habitating and long-term, it's also that every relationship is unique.

Wishing you all the best.