It's hilarious to me all this talk of assimilation that completely and entirely refuses to acknowldge the inherent racism within it. Your wife "code switches" because she has to in order to be taken seriously. Why does someone need to become like you in order to be considered worthy of respect? FYI, whites are not the dominant race in many age groups already and by 2045 they will be the minority all around. Will you be changing your name to better assimilate or are you going to remain defiant?

https://www.brookings.edu/blog/the-avenue/2018/03/14/the-us-will-become-minority-white-in-2045-census-projects/