It’s not my version of history — it is the established by anthropologists version of history. You don’t get to make up another one just because it suits your needs better.
And by the way, there actually was a time when Ugg and Shugg sat down and had a meeting. Then they took what came out of that meeting and made a bunch of laws and customs that restricted women’s rights, sexuality, movement, status as citizens, etc. A lot of those laws were still in effect a mere 50 years ago. Pretending this is isn’t so doesn’t make you a male positive feminist — it makes you a delusional apologist.
I completely agree with you (and have said so many, many times) that offenses against men by women should be talked about, taking seriously, etc. I completely agree that the woman who assaulted the man while wielding a machete should be charged with rape. Why do you want to keep acting like I’m the enemy when I agree with you on so much? My first words to you in this discussion were, “Your heart is in the right place.” In other words, I agree with a lot that you’ve said — with some stipulations based on assertions you’ve made out of erroneous facts. You need for there to be sides, and you need to be on the winning side. I’m actually interested in getting to the heart of what’s hurting both men and women, which is a societal dynamic called patriarchy, that isn’t really about men — it’s a social system based in exerting dominance.
Here’s an excerpt from an article I recently wrote:
“The United States of America is a country founded on the belief in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is a hopeful experiment in democracy and opportunity, but it too is based in patriarchy. Those with power have often held themselves above their own rules and laws as well. Our social structure puts a small number of powerful men at the top of a pyramid, with an ever widening base going down the pyramid, as the access to power and prestige declines. There is a gendered aspect, and more women are closer to the base of the pyramid, than they are to the elite apex of power.
However, power dynamics keeps many male and non-binary survivors from feeling like they can speak out as well. When someone with less power speaks out against someone with more, they face many inherent obstacles- being believed, avoiding retaliation and isolation, and potentially losing their place in their community or vocation.
It doesn’t matter whether the larger society or organization has beneficent intentions or does good things, if it’s based in patriarchy, the risk of rampant abuse and subsequent cover-up is substantial. When some people count more than others and some people are more likely to be believed (or disbelieved) based on the amount of power they have, then you’ve got a real recipe for the abuse of the less powerful.”
So you see, I’m not blaming men. In fact I’m sympathetic to men and how they are also harmed and silenced by a social system that is based in coercion, domination and climbing the ladder of the hierarchy at other’s expense.
You’re obsessed with who is at fault or not at fault; whose suffering is enough that their pain should be heard and discussed; who has it worse, blah, blah, blah…… That’s not productive and it’s not going to improve anything. It’s not a contest. You don’t have to pick just one demographic to care about. It’s entirely possible (as demonstrated in my article above) to care about women and to also care about men. There doesn’t have to be just one winner and therefore the only other option is for the other party to be a loser.
Why is it so hard to wrap your brain around that?
