I've been with my husband for 35 years, 31 of those married. We always had a good relationship where we truly were interested in each other's lives and in supporting each other. However, we both had some unconscious scripts that we had to confront in order to become better partners to each other over time but even now, we still have so much to say to each other and are crazy for each other. Long term relationships aren't sustainable if you haven't got something vibrant and strong at the beginning. The kind of stuff you are describing is really disheartening.