I've never once said that women can't or don't behave badly at times but that is not a function of mainstream feminine norms - and that wasn't really a part of the original discussion about whether or not gender roles are good or whether or not traditional mainstream masculine norms drive dysfunction, depression and suicide for men.
Gender roles are different in different cultures and at different points in history. In some cultures there are 3 or 5 different genders. The fact that you don't realize or understand that gender is a social construct separate from biological sex means there is no further point in trying to discuss anything substantive with you. You haven't the foggiest idea who you "naturally" are because you've been heavily indoctrinated into your gender box since you were a baby - just like we all have. It takes a great deal of intention and self-inventory to even begin to parse that out and even start to understand who you might naturally be.
“The Bible is full of crying men, and tears are plentiful among the Greek heroes such as Achilles in the Iliad. In mediaeval Europe the elite felt little obligation to conceal their emotions and that continued as late as the reign of Henry VIII, when we find his chief minister, Cardinal Wolsey, repeatedly weeping in public without embarrassment after his fall from power.”
In the 17th and 18th centuries in England, masculine men were expected to be in touch with their “sensibilities” by sharing and expressing their most profound feelings. In fact, weeping men were often the heroes of popular novels. There’s no definite agreement about when greater stoicism began to be required for men, but some historians believe that the Industrial Revolution was perhaps responsible when it is hypothesized that factory managers wanted their workers focused on productivity.
In other cultures around the world, we also see different expressions of masculinity. The Minangkabau of Indonesia are the largest matrilineal culture in the world. They are devoutly Islamic but the culture revolves around mothers and features a belief in the balance between men and women. Homes and land pass from mother to daughter. More remarkable, this matrilineal inheritance is cherished among the Minangkabau, who are well known within Indonesia but obscure to most westerners.
And while Minangkabau women’s roles may seem conventional, their sense of equality with men and their shared power is not. When couples marry, husbands move into their wives’ homes, nearly all decisions require consensus between men and women, and, significantly, girls are treasured. On a recent trip to Indonesia, I had the opportunity to immerse myself among the Minangkabau and observe what one might even call a feminist interpretation of Islam.
Puti Reno Raudha Thaib, a professor of agriculture at Andalas University in Padang, said that one result of this balanced system is that there is little competition between women and men. Thaib is the female head of her clan, known as the bundo kanduang. “Women and men are like two sides of a coin,” she said.
