I've written often of how I reclaimed my body and explored my sexuality in sex/swinger's clubs because it felt so safe, I could freely do that. What you've described affirms my belief that we have the culture that we tolerate. How little a woman is wearing has no bearing on this whatsoever. Men can and do control themselves in sex clubs because that's the culture and they get thrown out if they don't. The place we used to go to a man was thrown out just for grabbing his date's arm in an entitled way when he got jealous because she was kissing a woman on the dance floor. Imagine how it would transform our society if that was the norm, not just in goth clubs, but everywhere?