James recently commented on another story and although it doesn't answer all of your questions, it does provide some perspective from one penis-owner. Here's what he said:
"Your articled popped up in my feed, and since I am open to new sexual techniques, I eagerly read it. The thesis of your article is that men ought to always masturbate in the way you prescribe, which supposedly closely mimics fucking a woman’s vagina. Your premis is that men will be less disappointed by vaginal sex if they “train” their penises to reach orgasm by loosely masturbating their shafts.
Presumably, men applying this singular masturbation technique will also (somehow) make women feel better about themselves due to their having “loose” vaginas.
First, I have never been disappointed by vaginal sex. Not once. Those men who you hear joking about “throwing a sausage down a hallway” are LYING. I don’t know a heterosexual or bi man who has ever genuinely said that putting his penis inside a vagina was disappointing. Richard Pryor and David Letterman told those unfunny “loose vagina jokes” in the 1980s from the perspective that women ought to be controlled by men. The “loose vagina” punchline is doubtless much older, written by men with the intent to make women feel self conscious and doubt their sexual power. It’s a bullshit, cautionary tale as to why women should closely guard their virginity and later have sex with only one partner. (“Gotta keep that pussy tight for your one true love”). The “loose vagina joke” is designed to control women like property. Please stop believing it — pussies are awesome! The proof is that we want to put our penises in them as much as possible.
Second, masturbation is about much more than just the mechanics of bringing about an orgasm. It’s about fantasizing, or looking at pictures, or a partner. Sure, there are biological processes occurring, but the entire experience of sex is what brings about fulfillment. You flashed your biology credentials in your by-line, so I will surmise that is why you are hyper-focused on the biological mechanics of jacking off and the scientific explanation for why vaginas are “loose” (again, they are not, they are just vaginas (and awesome).
Third, variety is SPICE. And spicy sex is always better than bland sex. I masturbate in different ways that feel good to me — all the ways you describe, plus about a dozen more. And when I have sex with men, I masturbate their penises in a variety of ways like reverse grip, thumb and index finger only, downward strokes from the tip, or a method I call “Gradual Grip,” where I grip their penis tightly at the base with my little finger and apply gripping pressure up the shaft in a gradual manner, repeating the gradual grip from the base without sliding my hand back and forth. (Side Note: Please try this one. I overheard one male partner, Lane, tell one of the women we were in bed with that my “Gradual Grip” felt amazing, like nothing he had ever experienced.)
Moreover, masturbation is sexual expression and pleasure, not just practice for “real P-in-V” sex. I think that everyone should masturbate in ways that feel good to them and be open to experimentation. But, if you take away nothing else from this response, please stop believing the LIE that vaginas are “too loose” or anything less than awesome."
