Late Stage Capitalism...
The election of Donald Trump, despite 26 credible accusations of sexual assault and a history of bankruptcies and failed businesses because he stands for the worst aspects of a violent patriarchal dominance hierarchy
"Rehtaeh Parsons was 15 when she was raped by four very nice upstanding young men with so much promise. They took pictures, and sent them to their friends and put the pictures on the internet.
In one of the photos, she’s naked from the waist down, bent over an open window vomiting and crying while one of the boys rapes her and another takes photos. The guy raping her was smiling and giving a thumbs up.
Seventeen months after the rape, Rehtaeh Parsons took her own life. Not because she was raped. That’s not why.
She tried to fight back. Went public with her name and face and made international news. I don’t know that I’d have that kind of strength and internal fortitude as a grown-ass adult, nevermind at fifteen.
When her case went to court, the judge refused to look at the photos or videos. Refused to admit them as evidence. Refused to confiscate the boys’ phones. Then he said sorry, there’s no evidence here. Case closed."
That's a particularly egregious case, but far from a rare one in many respects. There are men who value honor and kindness and integrity, but it's not a core American masculine value in a social system that you recently agreed was based in violent domination.
And once again, this is not just me saying this - it's literally 40 years of research done primarily by men. How many times do I actually have to say that?
Edit:
At first I found it inexplicable that boys used such violent words in reference to sex. Why would you be proud of being a lousy lover? If they were truly talking about sex in those situations, they might bring up pleasure, connection, finesse: they wouldn’t weaponize it. But the whole point of “locker room banter” is that it’s not actually about sex, and that, I think, is why guys were more ashamed to discuss it as openly with me as topics that were equally explicit. Those (often clearly exaggerated) stories are in truth about power: about asserting masculinity through control of women’s bodies. And that requires — demands — a denial of girls’ humanity.
In mixed-sex groups, teenagers may talk about “hooking up” (which is already impersonal — if you want to make them gag, use the phrase “making love”), but when guys are on their own, it can be hard to tell if they’ve engaged in an intimate act or have just returned from a visit to a construction site. They nail, they pound, they bang, they smash, they slam, they hammer. They “hit that,” they “tap that ass,” they “tear her up,” they “destroy” her.
In the spring of 2019, two fraternities at Swarthmore — one of the nation’s most politically progressive campuses — were forced to “voluntarily” disband after student-run publications released hundreds of pages of “minutes” from their house meetings that included, among other things, discussions of a “rape attic” and the acquiring of roofies; “finger-banging” a member’s ten-year-old sister; racist comments about sexual acts with African American and Asian American women; vomiting on women during sex; and admiration for a brother who was known for “creampies coming at you whether you like it or not” (translation: ejaculating into a woman sans condom regardless of whether she consents). Repugnant, yes. Unusual? Not so much.
Orenstein, Peggy. Boys & Sex (p. 30). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
