Listening is indeed important but it runs both ways, and considering that American society is a dominance-based hierarchy where white men still have by far the most institutional power, it is not in the least out of line to speak about that. Being defensive about that is just that - defensiveness.

I don't get my panties in a twist when black women talk about how white-oriented feminsm has marginalized them for decades. I listen and learn and try to do better. I expect the same of white men as well, without the whining and self pity.

If you've never had the Supreme Court decide whether or not you have the same rights as others, then you do have privilege. If you can't acknowledge that most obvious fact, then stop pretending you are progressive.