Lots of interesting thoughts here. And yes, of course, we cannot generalize every individual experience and declare with certainty what was happening for that person. Nor should we encourage people to take victimhood on as their primary identity. But I don't believe that mocking and vilifying victims is appropriate either. You weren't doing that, but it is a widespread part of the culture these days.

Something that I do know is that prior to the rise of patriarchy about 6-9 thousand years ago, taking care of everyone in the tribe/settlement was a core survival strategy. And it still takes place in hunter/gatherer tribes today, the group exerts a type of reverse hierarchy that keeps troublemakers and people (usually men) who get too many ideas about power in check.

When (anthropologist Richard) Lee asked one of the elders of the group about this practice (of insulting the meat from a kill), the response he received was the following: ‘When a young man kills much meat, he comes to think of himself as a big man, and he thinks of the rest of us as his inferiors. We can’t accept this. We refuse one who boasts, for someday his pride will make him kill somebody. So we always speak of his meat as worthless. In this way we cool his heart and make him gentle.’

https://medium.com/inside-of-elle-beau/yes-our-ancient-ancestors-were-egalitarian-b32df87bed57

What we have now with patriarchy, is a very different social system, where ruthlessness and "getting mine" are considered to be a normal way to behave - since it's based in a dominance hierarchy and not by investing in the wellbeing of the group. It is within that social dynamic that being a victim is an increasingly shameful thing to be - something that I think goes against our core humanity and our instincts as highly social animals.

My sole point in making the comment that I did to the writer of the OP, and in challenging what you've said is to invite people to see another perspective, one that is influence by our past as human beings - for the 97% of history that took place before patriarchy. By calling attention to our current culture, I'm hoping that at least some people will realize that this is primarily what it is - a culture, and not "human behavior."

Thanks for the dialogue, in any case.