Men are responsible for 90% of the violence - against women, but also against other men. 1 in 3 women will be raped, and we demonstrably live in a rape culture where the attitudes that drive it are a part of mainstream masculinity. Nearly all women will be sexually harassed as children - some as young as 9 or 10 years old. Acting like women have somehow "created" harm by being outraged about this, and all the other ways that they are routinely marginalized, discounted, harassed, and attacked is a bit rich.

There are no "good guys" and "bad guys." There are perpetrators and there are people who enable, excuse, and defend the perpetrators or turn a blind eye to them. Very, very few men are actively working towards disrupting this dynamic. You are either a part of the problem or you are a part of the solution. Saying, "I'm a good guy and I haven't done anything" is being a part of the problem.

On a personal level, men who are not abusive toward women nonetheless play important roles in the lives of men who are. Men who physically and sexually abuse women are not monsters who live apart from the civilized world. They are in our families and friendship circles. They are our fathers, sons, brothers, and best friends. They are our fishing partners, drinking buddies, teammates, fraternity brothers, and colleagues. We too easily let them and ourselves off the hook when we call their violence a women’s issue. Do we do it intentionally? I don’t know. But whether conscious or unconscious, it’s an effective strategy to avoid accountability.

Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox (p. 17). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.