Men need to stop expecting the people they've been systemically oppressing and abusing for centuries to be nice to them and gentle in their demands that they stop that continued abuse and oppression. They need to take responsibility for the ways that many mainstream masculine norms harm not only other people, but themselves, and they need to work together to support each other in doing that.

If you had a bully beating the shit out of you every day of your life since you were a young child, you would want that to stop before you were able to invest a whole lot of empathy into what sadness or dysfunction might be driving that behavior. That's the way women feel.

Men’s violence against women is a pervasive social phenomenon with deep roots in existing personal, social, and institutional arrangements. In order for people to understand and ultimately work together to prevent it, it is first necessary for them to engage in a great deal of personal and collective introspection. This introspection can be especially threatening to men, because as perpetrators and bystanders, they are responsible for the bulk of the problem.

Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox (p. 24). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.