Most of the comments or stories I see ARE men either blaming women or demanding that they fix the problems that patriarchy has caused. There's a whole segment of the internet devoted to that - it's called The Manosphere. That's why you see the reactions that you do. If you asked most women in the abstract, "Do you care that men are hurting" they would probably say yes, but the way that it is overwhelmingly presented is both entitled and aggrieved and that doesn't go over so well, particularly when most of the things that women face are caused by men and androcentric/patriarchal culture.
Continuing to blame women for everything that is caused by patriarchy is not going to cut it. Feminists are focused on the problems and the needs of women, as they should be.
GO CLEAN UP YOUR OWN HOUSE!!!! Patriarchy is the root of all of your problems. It's the root of everyone's problems. Plenty of women are fine with men expressing their feelings - not all, but many. I've been with my husband for 35 years and I've always been fine with him showing emotions. I know many women who feel the same. It's the main thing that younger women say they are looking for in a mate, so pretending once again that this isn't the case is just one more excuse for men not to go do their own work. It's a deflection and a distraction.
Requiring random strangers who are neither equipped nor invested in your mental and emotional health to prioritize your feelings over theirs is not smart and it's not effective. Go talk about your pain in a place where it's safe and supportive to do that -like in a men's group or with a therapist. Stop playing into the deeply entrenched and often subconscious belief that women exist to care for and nurture everyone around them, particularly men. That isn't our job.
Asking men to take on patriarchy is appropriate because it's the social system harming us all, but if I were to lay my personal struggles with grief over my mother's death or something else like that at the feet of some random person (male or female) on the internet and expect them to take care of me emotionally around that, I'd be misguided, and I'd also be out of line. That's not their job. The pain men feel is overwhelmingly caused by patriarchy -one way or another. Stop blaming women and go join with other men to do something about that. Women aren't perfect, we have our own issues with internalized patriarchy to face, but we are demonstrably oppressed and abused demographic. Pretending that's not so, or that it doesn't matter, or that we should prioritize your needs is just more deflection to keep men from doing their own work.
