Most rapes are not violent or rageful. Talking about how shame sometimes errupts into these emotions does nothing to address the sorts of rapes that most women experience, where men, acting on gender roles norms, do not even understand that they are engaged in rape, but rather believe that they are doing what they've been taught by hegemonic masculinity that men do.

I suppose that when you've been taught that women exist for you, and when you've concocted a whole bunch of "I knew she wanted it" stories in your head, a rejection might be shame-inducing, but it's predicated on entitlements that come out of hegemonic masculinity. We can't affectively address the shame element unless we address the patriarchal norms that drive them.