My husband and I opened up our relationship about 5 years ago. I still use the term husband because people understand it, but I think of him more as a partner now (I have another life partner as well). What we realized when we deconstructed monogamy is that we had unconsciously bought into a lot of rules and roles related to the terms husband and wife. Our relationship is now a true partnership, in part because we don’t own each other.

People should pursue the kinds of relationships they want, including monogamous ones, but hopefully, the growing acceptance for non-monogamy will help to positively inform more traditional relationships. Not everyone who is non-monogamous is self-responsible and honest, actively communicating their wants and needs, but it is a more built-in part of that relationship style. It would be great if everyone did that.