No, a destructive culture of masculinity is the problem - not men. Which if you actually read my work, you'd know that I always say that. Apache men (until very recently) considered it extremely unmanly to rape. Men in the Mosuo culture of China don't rape and there is almost no violence of any kind. Men in our culture(s) are committing violence against women in astronomical numbers with the tacit approval of the cultures and I want that to stop.
"Scully’s (1990) study of sexual violence views rape as learned behavior within a patriarchal culture. According to her findings rapists as compared to other felons are more likely to believe in a double standard regarding gender roles and they identify more strongly with the traditional male role."
I write all the time about shifting the culture for the benefit of everyone, because these norms hurt boys and men as well. Anger can clarify objectives, give voice to deep fears, and demand change. And in a culture that isn't doing shit to change the dynamics that lead to pervasive violence against women and girls, it's entirely appropriate. And what exactly is "the other side?" That women somehow deserve or provoke this violence? Don't even go there with me, because you haven't seen anger yet...
I want people to think too - to think about how they are actually responsible for what goes on in this culture because "I didn't do it" is actually one of the problems. And I don't really care what you've experienced. It's irrelevant to the topic at hand. Men and boys perpetrate nearly all violence - against women and against other boys and men and I want the culture that allows that to change so that this will stop. If you aren't a part of the solution, then you are a part of the problem. And, having a less toxic, dominance-oriented culture would no doubt also result in women who were happier, less traumatized, and better able to interact in a positive and healthy way, so there's that too.
"It’s not just about men, and it’s not all men’s fault. This social system is upheld and maintained by women in many ways as well. They still have vastly less societal and economic power, but there are plenty of ways that many women uphold and reinforce things like binary gender norms, social stratification, and ongoing comparison to everyone they interact with. It’s going to take us all doing better to start moving towards a social system that is less grounded in ruthlessness and domination, one that allows people to be more of who they naturally are, and where arbitrary things like race or gender are not associated with so many stereotypes and tacit roles.
We have the dominance hierarchy deeply embedded in our collective subconscious so we’ve got to make it conscious in order to challenge it. Understanding that a patriarchal culture is the problem — not men as individuals is an important start."
