No, it's not absurd - because there is a very clear sociological dynamic taking place - as already well documented to you. Men are taught from birth to have the kinds of characteristics that lead to violence, that lead to rape culture, that lead to the belief they should control women. Not every guy takes those on to the same extent but every guy is exposed to them and feels at least some pressure to adhere to them. If not, we wouldn't have the culture that we do and groups like the American Psychological Association would not be issuing new guidelines to try to address the negative ways this affects men and boys.

And you not doing the bad things is not enough - you have to participate in challenging the culture and in challenging the metrics of masculinity or you are just as culpable as the guys who do the things. Being a bystander is not actually a neutral thing.

Elie Wiesel famously said, “We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

You are either a part of the solution, or you are indeed a part of the problem.