No-one but a very small number of radical feminist believes that all men are toxic. This is a very stupid and naive story. "I didn't do anything wrong so I shouldn't be lumped in with others people who look like me" is a facile argument which shows no understanding of what is actually taking place in our culture. There are such things in the world as power dyamics, and even though men also suffer under patriarchy, they none-the-less still have a lot of advantages because of it. If white male identity politics wasn't so good at keeping themselves in an advantaged position, we'd have a lot more equality than we do. It doesn't really matter what you as an individual do or don't do - the societal dynamics are what matters.
White males make up about 30% of the population in the US, but still hold the vast majority of social and economic power and they are still represented in media as being the normative citizen.
If there were no white male identity politics we’d have proportional representation in our Congress by now. Although we do have the most racially and ethnically diverse Congress we’ve ever had, particularly in the House of Representatives, the US Congress is still 79% white (even though whites make up 60% of the population). Women make up just over a quarter of the Congress, although they make up just slightly more than 50% of the population.
Both of these things are true - white men as a demographic, are suffering under patriarchy, sometimes in really terrible ways, AND white men still benefit from having the greatest access to power and privilege in all aspects of American life. There are more men named John than women in any of a wide variety of metrics of power. Pretending that doesn't count just because you personally don't have a lot of social power is self-serving and disengenous.
Besides, I used to mow our lawn and take our cars to be serviced when my husband had a job that required a lot of his time. I don't want to be called ma'am and anyway, all of those gender binaries are a part of patriarchy, including the child custody thing. Individual men may or may not be the issue, but white male identity politics and the power that it still undeniably wields is. People who can't differentiate between those two things need a sociology lesson.
