No they aren't -it’s socialization, and fairly recent socialization at that. For most of human history, everyone depended on and took care of everyone else in the tribe as a primary survival strategy. Women hunted too, and gatherers actually provide the bulk of the daily food, just as they do still in modern forager tribes. After that, women still helped to run farms, and cobbler shops, etc. Men as providers only came about with the Industrial Revolution and truly only existed in the form we think of today from about 1950 until the end of the 1970s.

Of course, I’m interested in what my husband thinks but he’s interested in what I think as well, and if he didn’t, we’d be having a lot of issues. If a man's opinions are wrong, I'm not going to validate them in order to make him feel better about himself. If he's too much of a child in big boy clothing to deal with that, or gets bent out of shape that a woman knows more about something than he does, it isn't my fault or my problem. I've been happily partnered with the same man for over 35 years and while it's absolutely important to be respectful of each other and kind to each other, I'm long done with jumping through patriarchy's hoops to pacify men's insecurities. Fortunately, I've got a great partner that doesn't require me to coddle him in order to connect with him. I affirm him all the time, just as he does me, but as two secure adults. My opinions are just as valid as his are, his feelings are just as valid as mine.

I think you're heart is in the right place here, but it's misguided to tell women that they have to toe patriarchal lines in order to have a happy relationship.

Edit: It sounds like a lot of the men you are meeting are in unhappy relationships, but I’ll bet that if most of your clients were women, you’d be hearing a lot of the same things (minus the provider thing, which more men need to get over now that 20% of women earn more than their partners and 30% earn the same). There really isn’t a big gendered difference in how to be nice to your partner and treat them with kindness and love.