No, you should never get involved with hobbies you don't enjoy because that's not authentic, it's not being yourself - the complete opposite of what this essay is about. And no, you don't have to be cocky or arrogant to convey who you are and what you have to offer a relationship. That's your internal stories (I know this because you told me that you believed this), but it's just a story and not remotely true.

You build a real well of true confidence by learning to be your best self for yourself (not to impress a woman). And, you polish up the skills that are deficient in conveying that to others - something that you apparently did at least some of with your coach. Confidence is not a major shift in personality. It's a major shift away from the disempowering stories that you're used to telling yourself, and the blame that you've been putting on women about that, rather than doing the work on yourself but that's all mutable. It's not who you are - it's just the pathology you've been swimming in as a defense mechanism. It's a habit, and a disempowering one at that. Change your habit around that, and it's a whole different world.

I realize that you are deeply attached to these beliefs, but I've been a certified life coach for 18 years and I know what I'm talking about - because this isn't just my opinion - it's well established personal growth and relationship dynamics. Read this advice column from Dr. Nerdlove (below) for more info on how to disengage yourself from disempowering beliefs about yourself and about women - or don't - and keep harping on the same old pathology that has negatively impacted your life thus far as if that will somehow improve it. It won't, but it does afford you the chance to keep complaining and scapegoating others without ever having to take yourself on and make your life better. Human beings are incredibly resilient, incredibly flexible, and infinitely capable of transformation. I see it happen every day, but you have to really want that sort of transformation which involves giving up the BS stories that are holding you back, and I'm not entirely sure you want to do that. Mostly what is standing in our own way for each of us is us - our disempowering beliefs, our toxic habits, our body of "evidence" about how things have to be, etc. How does one do that? Well, start by reading what Dr. Nerdlove has to say about it and then build on that with articles, books, TEDtalks, podcasts, and practice.

https://medium.com/hello-love/how-do-i-change-my-toxic-beliefs-about-women-1686c500ea98