Nope, that's not it at all. There are something like 17 kinds of feminism and they all are slightly different, but the main thing is that men have made that a dirty word and I don't want to have to keep defending why it's not. Let's just cut the labels and talk about the things that matter. That's where I'm coming from. And my point about Hugh is that he is oblivious to gender boxes due to his autism - that's the only reason he's not in one, because even if we tried to be neutral and just let him be himself, gender indoctrination in the culture is ubiquitous. It's unavoidable. The only reason he's largely avoided it is because he's immune to societal pressures.
Asking why feminism has FEM in the title if it's really about equality for all is about as silly as asking why Black Lives Matter isn't called All Lives Matter. Do you honestly believe that BLM folks don't think all lives matter - only theirs? No, of course not. They are responding to lived experience of other people not acting as though their lives in particular matter. Same with feminism. We are focused on equality for women because it has been noticeably absent for 5 thousand years - including by law up until very recently.
Misandry is a response to misogany. Just like reverse racism, it's mostly something that doesn't actually exist. Hating someone who has abused you and continues to do so isn't unreasonable. And, as I noted in my recent piece on the topic of men, women, and hate - I don't hate men and I don't condone hate, but I very much feel like I am hated by an androcentric culture and I think it's absurd that it's fine for men to continue to teach girls that they are less (but that's OK - it's not hateful) Gimme a break! Adhering to this zero-sum "If I don't win, I lose" outlook is silly but also exactly what patriarchy has taught you. And telling someone in pain that you know better than they do about what is really doing on is paternalistic and condescending. (Not you personally, but One)
The patriarchy is very literally the root source of every social ill that we have, and I am not kidding. I'm talking about the male dominated dominance hierarchy (not just the feminist definition, which is only a part) It is the root of racism, homophobia, police brutality, etc. This is my main area of academic expertise and what I most often write about on Medium.
“A dominance hierarchy (which is what patriarchy actually is, not just a dynamic between men and women) is about maintaining traditional power through displays of aggression, coercion, and artificial barriers to true competition. Police brutality is a symptom of living in this sort of system, as is sexual harassment and violence against gay and trans people. Those are all examples of using violence to dominate others who are seen to be lower down the pecking order.
Our social system revolves around clawing your way to as high in the pecking order as you can get, by any means necessary, including violently holding other people down or erecting barriers to them being able to compete — all the while telling yourself that you’ve earned your place fair and square. This is how a dominance-based hierarchy functions and it dovetails nicely with the rather brutal brand of capitalism that is practiced here in the US. It’s the complete antithesis of a merit-based system, and it requires an underclass to support the base of the pyramid of power and privilege. Without underclasses, there is no apex — a large part of why a flatter playing field feels disruptive. People aspiring to the top of the pyramid understand this, albeit largely subconsciously."
I didn’t have the time to address absolutely everything you said, but perhaps more later.
