Not all hierarchies are problematic. Only the ones maintained through aggression and fear (dominance hierarchies), of which patriarchy is one. It isn't only the centrality of paternity that makes for patriarchy, it's also the inherent social stratification that is maintained for the benefit of elites at the expense of anyone who is weaker. I do object to any and all systems that justify that as being necessary, because it's not - as we are starting to see in the business world. Non-patriarchal team approaches are replacing old style authoritarian bosses in many places because it's such a more agile system, and is also better for morale to let those closest to the work make most of the relevant decisions.
https://medium.com/inside-of-elle-beau/hierarchies-arent-the-problem-e432291de968
Whether or not we have more divorce and single parents, paternity is still a central element of our culture. Children take their father's name in most cases, and those born out of wedlock are more common but also still widely looked down upon. In some states rapists can sue for and get paternal rights, and in others impregnators get a say in whether or not a woman can have an abortion. 54% of Americans believe that the father is the head of the family and more than that believe that motherhood is the very most important thing that a woman can do with her life. There's plenty of that element of patriarchy still around, as well as the stratification part that is still a part of most hetero monogamous relationships.
Women still do the vast majority of home, child, and elder care even if they work outside the home. The more a woman earns in relation to her husband, the more housework she is likely to do, even if he doesn't work at all, and she does.
https://medium.com/inside-of-elle-beau/shes-your-wife-not-your-mom-128e47c43aa6
We didn't have sexual monogamy as an expected part of pair-bonding until the advent of patriarchy. They go hand in hand. Prior to patriarchy, we had egalitarianism and sexual freedom for women. I don't know whether that was literally polyamory by our current definition of the word, (multiple love relationships) but maybe for at least some people.
I don't object to monogamy. People are free to choose the relationships they want. I'm simply pointing out that most people don't choose it. It's foisted upon them as the only reasonable and moral option, and they don't even recognize that other options exist. Then, they pursue that unconsciously as well, very often plugging into patriarchal structures that were designed thousands of years ago. If people want to mindfully, and intentionally co-create monogamous pairings, they absolutely should - but the fact is that it is very, very rare.
