OK, I pretty much vehemently disagree with just about all of this, but there's no sense going into that too much, because we aren't going to change each other's minds.

Being able to voice your pain in however way you feel the need to is an integral and psychologically recognized way of moving toward healing. Expecting people who have been wounded to not have feelings around that is asinine.

Here's what the American Psychological Association says: "Exploring your anger and pain can help you identify and confront problems—through conversation, protest, or advocacy. Anger also has an alerting function: It tells others that it is important to listen to our words and pay attention to our actions."

And I get that the internet is not a "safe space" but if you are encouraging people to show up and have real dialogue I think it's incumbent upon you to try to make it that as much as possible within the confines of the conversation. Otherwise, you aren't inviting real dialogue. You're just trying to argue and win (why not Dialogue Penguin, rather than Argumentative?) You said that to me once in a conversation "I want to win." As I pointed out to you at the time, I don't want to win. I want to have a productive discussion that potentially leads to deeper understanding and a shared commitment to improving the world. I don't need to look at things through a zero-sum lens even though that is a key element of dominance hierarchy thinking.

Maybe you perceive me as being able to have discussions with you without bringing my emotions into it, but I find them often quite emotionally taxing, which is why I don't engage with you more often. This week of writing and talking about feeling hated by an androcentric culture has been incredibly emotionally taxing and disruptive because this is not an intellectual exercise for me - it's talking about my lived experiences (and those of nearly all the women I know) and how they have (and continue to) negatively affect me on a very visceral level. And, what's worse is that it's made me feel even more hopeless than I did before because most men just don't get and they also don't want to.

I spend more and more of my time trying to create my own bubble from the world because that's the best way I know how to cope. Fortunately, I've got some very good people with me in that bubble, including a great partner, but I honestly think we're headed straight for The Hunger Games. I just hope that we can stave it off long enough for my son's generation to die because I don't want to leave anyone I love here to live through that!