Once again, what you are saying (without anything to substantiate it) is against my personal experience and that of many, many young women that I know and have known. And, you still haven't answered my question about how you have come upon this knowledge held with such certainty. Yes, confidence is attractive - to everyone, but there are many ways to be confident, and cockiness is not attractive to any but the most insecure of women. As I mentioned in my original story, knowing and understanding who you are (rather than trying to be someone that you are not, which you imagine is more socially desirable) is one of the primary ways to be confident. My first boyfriend, Roger, with the coke-bottle glasses was one such example.
Women's pervasive life experience at the hands of many men is one of being treated as an object, with little respect or value of them as a person. Having dealt with that since early days (sexual harassment begins for most women about age 10, before they are not even fully into puberty), genuine kindness is indeed a highly attractive quality. This doesn't mean transactional kindness in order to get something, AKA "nice guy" syndrome. This also does not mean obsequious fawning behavior. In general, it means someone who is secure enough in themselves that they do not need to boost their self esteem at the expense of the woman.
You don't want to believe this because then you'd have to actually do the work to really get to know yourself and to become that self-confident guy, and it's a whole lot easier to just blame women and society. But, that's also not going to get you where you want to go. It's just going to foster bitterness (which is not an attractive quality).
In a 2017 Pew Study on what Americans thought of men as providers, it turns out that is even more important to men that it is to women and that's also not the most important characteristic of a mate by anyone's standards.
"However, the importance of being the financial provider ranks behind being caring and compassionate when it comes to being a good spouse or partner, in the public’s estimation."
So, you don't really have evolutionary science on your side and you don't have the stated position of what most Americans say they want in a mate. You've only got your bitter false narrative. Good luck with that, my friend. With that attitude, you're going to need it.
