Once again, you are making this about you, when what I'm talking about is how this dynamic affects the society. And, you're also again acting like I'm pulling these ideas out of my ass rather than referring to myriad academic sources. That's part of the reflexive domination inclinations of guys who can't challenge the facts or specifics with anything substantive, so I'm not surprised by it, but it is kind of lame.
Every aspect of American culture is a dominance-based hierarchy. If you want to better understand that, I suggest you read some of the 40 or so stories I've written about it, many of which I have already linked to you. You can start with this one, but the Cliff's notes version is that the essence of a patriarchal dominance hierarchy is social stratification that is predicated on immutable traits such as gender, but also race, sexuality, class, etc.
Your wife is a second class citizen because you yourself said that you get to make final decisions on things - not because you've earned the right by being more discerning, or more adept but because of an accident of birth. You don't know how to be a real partner and instead want to wield power that you haven't actually earned through merit (which reads as pretty weak to me). It's a great snap-shot of what is wrong with patriarchy. The fact that she's been indoctrinated into believing that this is appropriate and goes along with it is another one.
Look, if the way you live makes you happy, then God bless, but you insisting that you're fine so this isn't a real problem just doesn't fly. There's too much evidence to the contrary. Exhibit A is that business who want to be more agile are moving away from dominance-based hierarchies and going towards working groups where those closest to the work get to make many of the key decisions. It's why special forces teams work that way as well. It's a lot more efficient to not have to go through layers of hierarchy to get decisions made when time is of the essence. It's also a more self-responsible way of being in the world. I had a friend who was a Delta Force commander. They would debrief after a mission and each guy had to critique himself and say where he made mistakes and could have done better. You don't see that level of personal responsibility in dominance based hierarchies because it's important to never look like you are anything less than perfectly in control and doing everything masterfully. It breeds weakness and insecurity.
“Because man box (patriarchal) culture glorifies bullying and dominance as the primary expression of masculine power and success, all men are invited to daily test the limits of what society will tolerate. Accordingly, we see dominance-based interactions play out in every aspect of our lives, from within our most personal interactions to the dynamics of our national politics. While millions of good men care about creating more compassionate personal and professional relationships, and so choose not to test the limits of men’s collective permission to be dominant, the fact that this choice is an opt-out, tells us all we need to know about what’s going wrong.”
From Why Masculinity Is “Whatever Men Can Get Away With” by Mark Greene.
And if you can't challenge what I've said in a more meaningful, substantive way, there's little point in continuing.
