Patriarchy harms everyone - men and women alike, albeit in different ways. One of the reasons that I speak about the past is to make it clear that it's not the only social system we've ever had. I'm not proposing we try to turn back the clock but there are things we can take from that time to use today. Having less possessive, controlling relationships would be a good start - ones not based in patriarchal ideas about hierarchy where people can relate to each other as equals and partners.
My husband and I have such a relationship, in part because we do not have a traditional marriage - we have a polyamorous one. This doesn't just mean we have intimate relationships with other people, it means that we don't act like we own each other. It means that we both take responsibility for our emotions and our actions, and actively co-create our relationship, rather than relying on ancient structures designed by others thousands of years ago. And as you yourself have pointed out, it hasn't worked for human beings very well recently. More than 50% of marriages end in divorce and younger people aren't keen to marry in the first place. Marriage as it stands is an ailing institution because it's such a poorly designed and constructed institution. Women, in particular, who have had a taste of it because they've been sold that this is the primary thing they should want, find that overwhelmingly they don't want to do it again. They want relationships and companionship, but they also want more indendpendance and less caretaking than current marriage has to offer.
